Just thoughts tonight as I can hardly lift my arms. I played with the paint sprayer again today. You know, me, the one who as spent the last 20 years surrounded by 20 or so sweaty needy bodies, is finding that it's not so bad to be alone. Crank the music up loud. Open the window in Jake's room, and get that trusty old stereo and Bob Segar bashing against the barn. When I want to pretend that I'm in a beachy area, then put those 10 cds of waves and surf on and magnify the decibals(sp?) Just think yourself into the next space. I can identify so many bird calls now. So what? Well, you know people are buying those cds and using them to relax! Tomorrow, I go to school to begin packing and distributing 20 years of gathered junk or treasure, depending on what I needed it for. All of my books come home with me. But then there are the glues and spangles and scissors and old clothes use for costumes. I'll have boxes filled with boxes. Never throw away a cereal or oatmeal or cheezit or little debbie box. How will you build chew and swallow without the boxes. There will be coke flats cut with slits and strung with yarn for those years before No Child Stands A Chance when we studied American Indians and learned to weave. When we read Annie and the Old One and discussed death and the truth. Posters, homemade and storebought will spill from behind the door as soon as the pressure is off. Fractions and writing rules: number lines and rocks and minerals: layers of the earth and volcanoes: American laws and three branches of government. Blue bins filled with props for Pecos Bill and Pilgrims at Thanksgiving and fractured fairy tales and wigs, many wigs, and hats.
Boxes strowed with toothpicks for Cactus Hotel. We'll find shoeboxes filled with plastic animals to build the great dioramas of 3rd grades of past years before NO Books allowed the in the classroom by Bush.
Well, I'll make it and make a huge mess in a place I no longer belong. I'll wade through the fallout of a life and button up my shoes for some other steps sideways to another place.
