I started this post to complain about not being able to sneak up on the birds. But what I type is not what I'm actually thinking. I have to clean it up a little first. Give it a "good" girl sweep of unmentionable words. I decided therefore to type what I would say out loud to my numb walls, but leave blanks. You, then, depending upon your sensibilities can fill them in. We'll see who needs a bar of soap.
Those ________ birds. They are just too ______ fast for me. I've tried sitting quietly in the ticky grass, and camouflaging my fat______. It doesn't work. The minute that I move the _____camera, off they go into the wild blue yonder. If they were my kids, I would tell them, "Hold the ______still". As a matter of fact, if they were my children as young _______, I would shout, " If you don't hold still, I'll spank your ______ within an inch of your_____life".
So I eased sideways to keep the _______ bird in my sites, my nose pressed against the camera, feeling something give way, my whole ______ body slipped suddenly to the right as my hand came down in a pile of cow_______. Holy_________, I'm not usually so squeamy, but this clump was steaming fresh. How the _______ did I not smell it to begin with? Now what the______ do I do? The only possibility for something to wipe this_____ off is my clothing. Well, no flies on me, just________. I carefully maneuver my t-shirt off over my ________ head and down the offending arm. So there I was, in the field, shirtless as _________, wiping myself down when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a ___ _____Santa and his 8 ____________ reindeer!!!
